Fix Your Relationship by Improving Communication
Communication is key
One of the things that become a source of problems for married couples is a lack of communication. This is true especially of men, who are notorious for not expressing their feelings. A lot of arguments can be avoided simply by talking things out.
Couples should be open to each other about the problems and difficulties they are encountering. They should start communicating before it reaches a critical point and becomes a full-blown fight.
Poor communication is one of the most common relationship problems that most people encounter. Good communication in a relationship necessitates a lot of skills, without which there is a greater possibility of relationship problems arising.
Starting with getting rid of all distractions such as TV’s and radio noise, and arranging a quality time that suits both partners, is a good way to set off communication. Do away with interrupting the other person when talking, and avoid categorizing the partner. Talking about good factors of the relationship as well as the
relationship problems can positively help create good communication
Communication also involves non-verbal cues such as body language and how common everyday things are done.
For example, when you see your partner crossing his arms while you’re explaining something, he may not be receptive to what you are saying. Seeing his/her body tense up when you bring up a certain topic may mean that the particular subject is causing him/her stress.
A misconception people have over communication is that it requires words and a schedule to sit down and talk. While it is true that couples need to find time to talk on a regular basis, consistent communication goes beyond simply this.
The problem only comes when the other person fails to get the message – the problem of “miscommunication”. A much greater concern than having either a good or a bad message is the other person to understand what you are trying to get at rather than ending up with the other’s careless shrug of “whatever” – the worst form of bad relationship communication. Miscommunication is best resolved by
asking. Do not make assumptions or jump to conclusions (that are most probably wrong).
Another obstacle to having a great relationship communication is communicating the truth. It already is a problem when a couple goes through with miscommunication, so what more if the sender expresses an erroneous message.
Lying (or hiding the truth) always only makes things worse.
Finally, the last thing to keep in mind when it comes to relationship communication is how we communicate. If you’re not sure of what the other is trying to communicate, then without hesitation, ask for an explanation, although you may get the frequent response of “don’t you get it?!” Sincerely say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t get what you’re saying.” And for the other, appreciate the gap-bridging; you would rather hear a question than a ‘whatever’.
Don’t finish your partner’s thoughts before they are expressed. In other words, if they say I was thinking about the back yard. Don’t cut them off before they finish and say I already know what you want and I do not want to do it. Well they very well, if given the chance may have said, I was thinking that what you suggested
last week would be perfect.
By learning to listen to the needs of the other person and compromising, arguments can be avoided. Past issues should no longer be brought up, if at all possible so that the couple can look ahead and face the future together.
It takes two people working together to make the marriage work. It takes years and even decades to make it succeed. The direction of the marriage should always be decided by both parties.
Have Common Goals to Keep Interested in Each Other
Before you ever get into, a serious relationship is advisable to talk about your dreams and goals for your life. In order to build a strong relationship, you need to have things in common that are important to both of you. You both need to be totally honest with each other when sharing your goals and dreams or you will find
yourself living with someone with which you have nothing in common to build on.
Here are some important goals to talk about and compare
1. Do you both have the same need for money and material possessions? If one of
you are happy just getting by and the other has a strong desire for wealth, how will you achieve goals when your partner says, I don’t see the point in working so hard just to get more money. If you want your own business and they are not interested in building one with you, can you live with that?
2. How many children do you dream of having? What are your beliefs in raising them? What if you are unable to conceive of as a couple? Would you be willing to adopt? Are you ready for children or do you want to wait for several years after
marriage to have them? These are questions that must be answered.
3. What do you believe in? Religion? Faith? A higher power? If your religious beliefs are different, it can make life difficult. What will you do when you have children?
Which religion will you teach them? It is imperative to find someone that you can grow with and share beliefs and religious goals.
4. Do you dream of traveling the world or are you content to be a homebody?
Travelers and homebodies do not make great partners as one will always be forced to do what the other wants which will lead to resentments on both parts.
5. Each of you should write down your dreams and goals and then hand them to each other. By doing this you will not find yourself saying you want the same things they want just to keep the peace. Then look through them and see if you have any
that coincide. Then if you do, great. Are they important to you? Do you have any goals that are identical? Build, on the ones you have in common.
If you find you have absolutely no dreams or goals that are even close you may want to rethink the relationship before it gets too serious. Follow the tips above to keep yourself from winding up with someone who in all possibilities you will both find yourselves in an unhappy marriage filled with disappointments and unrealized dreams for your life.
Show Appreciation for Your Partner
Once you said, I Do did the common everyday courtesies you used to offer and receive from your partner cease and desist? Do you feel like your partner simply expects you do things for him (her) and no longer believe you deserve to be asked
please, and when you do it, to say, thank you?
One of the worst things you can do is simply forget about showing your partner respect and just expect. This is your life partner; don’t you think you both deserve to be treated with every respect that strangers get every day from you?
A few years ago I was visiting a girlfriend when her husband snapped, “Woman, get me a soda!” That alone shocked me, but what happened next was even more
amazing. She jumped up and got it for him. In order to get respect from your partner, you must expect it, and not allow them to treat you this way.
Now, I personally would have laughed at him for expecting me to get up and get him a soda when he asked for it this way. I would say. I don’t think so. Have you ever heard the word, please?
Give your partner respect, and expect it in return. How hard is it to use the same courtesy you used before you were married? These simple everyday courtesies should always be used when asking for anything from your partner.
How hard would it have been to say, honey, I m so tired, can you please get me a soda?
Once they bring it to you, a simple thanks or thank you will let them know you appreciate them.
And . . .
And when your partner says thank you. It is very simple to say your welcome back. Your life’s partner deserves to be treated with respect. You deserve to be treated with respect.
These common courtesy words never go out of style. Use them every
day and you will notice a lasting effect on your relationship.
Don’t neglect your partner. You must give your partner your time and attention if you expect your relationship to grow and flourish. Married couples need constant reassurance from each other. Make an effort to accommodate your partner’s emotional and physical needs.
Notice things your partner does for you.
If your partner does something around the house that you normally have to do then be sure to make a big deal about it. Say, thank you so much for doing that. I appreciate it so much. And give them a big hug and kiss.
Speak Kindly, Listen, and Grow Your Relationship
Marriage is a partnership. If you want her marriage to be successful, you’ll need to put your heart and soul into your relationship. It is imperative in any long-term relationship to speak kindly to your partner. You also must be willing to listen with an open mind to your partner’s concerns. When you are speaking, talk in a clear and concise voice so your partner can understand what you are trying to stay.
Do not talk in circles or try to confuse your partner. In order for someone to understand what you are trying to say, it is very important that you only put across exactly what you want to say.
If you speak clearly, it will make it easier for the other person to understand exactly what you mean. Do not leave yourself open to being misunderstood.
To start a conversation with your significant other, be sure they are listening. Sit in a comfortable position facing each other and look in each other’s eyes. You are now ready to start your conversation. Look your partner in the eye and tell them exactly what you want to say. If they are looking you back in the eye, they
are most likely listening to what you are saying. Ask them to repeat back to you what you just said and what it means to them. This is an effective way to find out if they understand what you are trying to say.
Make sure that you are listening to them when they repeat what you just said. Once you are sure they understood you right, go on with the rest of what you wanted to say to them. Be sure to have them repeat everything back to you.
Listening is actually not a very simple skill. You will need to practice with an open mind. You cannot just listen, you must also try to hear and understand what your partner is trying to convey. Since everyone communicates differently, this can be very difficult at times.
When you are listening to the other person, do not be trying to think about what you are going to say next. Listen with your full attention. They deserve that from you, and you deserve the same when you are talking.
Practice speaking and listening with your partner. Set aside time every week to talk and listen to each other. Take turns, you can speak while your partner listens and then give them a chance to say what they want to say. Be sure to give them your full attention and they will return the same courtesy to you.
As long as you keep these simple tips in mind when having a conversation, you will be amazed at how much better you will understand each other and improve your relationship.